


A Medical Emergency

by luoup (ravenic)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Humans Doing Strange Human Things, ulaz is very confused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 10:25:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13679808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenic/pseuds/luoup
Summary: Something is wrong with Pidge, and Ulaz is very concerned.Or: Instance #3784 In Which Ulaz Does Not Understand Humans





	A Medical Emergency

**Author's Note:**

> this is a (very late) birthday present for a dear friend of mine, who requested ulaz being confused by humans. it was lots of fun to write, even though ulaz is definitely not my strong suit in writing. (also: dumb title is dumb. please ignore.)
> 
> happy birthday!

Ulaz had been staying at the Castle of Lions for a while now.  Although it was still strange sometimes, he was getting used to it, and so were the others.  But the castle was occupied by three different species – four if you count the Altean mice – and species differences came up every once in a while. 

Ulaz had seen many of different species in his life.  The universe had a broad range of creatures existing in it, and as an intergalactic medical professional he saw more than average.  He was pretty used to peculiarities of different species, but he’d never seen a Human before Shiro.  And it wasn’t like he had had time to learn about the Champion’s species, not when he was undercover and not when he was putting all his effort into just trying to save the Human’s life.  And there had never really been much time after that, either.  In short, Humans and their functions remained mostly a mystery to Ulaz. 

Everyone was in the kitchen making the midday meal.  Ulaz stayed to one side, content to observe unless called upon – he still didn’t know the kitchen very well, and besides it was clearly the Yellow Paladin’s territory.  He was happy just to watch the Humans interact, talking and arguing as they prepared their food, interacting with the last two Alteans in the universe (it was still incredible to Ulaz, just seeing them.  Alteans were practically mythological, and yet here was a pair of them, just… being.  It was strange.). 

Everything was going fine.  Then it happened. 

The smallest Paladin, Pidge of the Green Lion, made a strange noise.  Her whole body jerked, like she was suddenly choking.  Ulaz’s head snapped up, yellow eyes wide and unblinking as he stared at her. 

 _What was that?_   The others didn’t seem to have noticed anything.  Ulaz narrowed his eyes, staring hard.  That wasn’t normal. 

There it was again.  A full-body twitch, that sound, and then nothing, like she was fine. 

Was something wrong with her breathing?  Had she been injured in the last Paladin fight?  She was acting normal, but Ulaz had lived his entire life with individuals who would brush off severe injuries as “just a scratch,” even when they were practically on death’s door.  He had learned long ago to pay attention and make his own evaluations.  And there was clearly something wrong with Pidge. 

Ulaz liked the little Paladin.  She wasn’t even half the size of a full-grown Galra, but she was fast and sharp and that electrified Bayard packed a punch far more powerful than her mere mass.  She was clever, too – something Ulaz could always appreciate.  She was figuring out Galra technology essentially on her own, and teaching herself the Galra language in the process.  She asked questions incessantly unless she was working on a project, in which case Emperor Zarkon himself wouldn’t be able to budge her.  After Shiro, she had been the first to trust Ulaz – he wasn’t sure whether it was because she trusted Shiro, or because she was confident in her and her teammates’ abilities to handle him if he turned on them, or simple disinterest: if it wasn’t a problem, she wasn’t going to worry about it. 

Also: Ulaz held Shiro in the highest of respects, valued his companionship and presence and thoughts.  He’d been the reason Ulaz had moved into the castle.  It was obvious from the start how much Shiro cared about Pidge.  Ulaz had learned that her littermate – brother, not littermate, Humans had brothers – had been Shiro’s companion on his ill-fated trip that had resulted in his capture and imprisonment by the Empire.  Shiro missed his friend greatly, and Pidge was the closest thing he had to him.  In addition, she really was very small, and although she could more than handle herself, the Green Paladin was still perceived as the easiest target, the most in-danger when they fought Empire soldiers.  Shiro cared about her, wanted to protect her.  If something was wrong with her –

Another short sharp movement, and Pidge nearly dropped the dish she was carrying.  Ulaz darted forward to grab it, spurred into action.  “Pidge,” he said urgently, “What’s the matter?  Are you injured?” He couldn’t remember her coming back from her last mission wounded, but one could never know. 

The Green Paladin stared at him in confusion.  “Am I – no, I’m fine.  Why–” and then she did it again. 

Ulaz’s ears were pressed flat to his head now, and if he’d had a tail like Antok’s it would be lashing in distress.  “That!  Your diaphragm is spasming, something is wrong.  Maybe – allergies?  Could you be having a reaction to something?  Do you need to go to the medbay?” He spun around to face Coran and Princess Allura, who were watching the whole thing with confusion and concern on their faces.  “Do the pods work on allergic reactions?”

“I – er–” Coran began, but Pidge interrupted. 

“I’m fine, Ulaz,” she said, tugging at her arm where he still had a tight grip.  “It’s just the hiccups.”

 _The hiccups?_   Ulaz racked his brain for anything he might have heard about such an affliction.  Nothing.  He wasn’t even sure he had ever even heard the name before.  Maybe it was a Human ailment. 

“Is… is there a treatment?” He didn’t want them to lose Pidge.  It would cripple Voltron, it would hurt Shiro.  Ulaz himself was quite fond of the tiny ferocious Paladin.  If there was anything that could be done…

At the look on Ulaz’s face, the other Paladins were finally spurred into a response.  But it wasn’t what Ulaz would have expected in reaction to learning of the illness of a teammate. 

Lance looked like he was having what Shiro described as a “lightbulb moment” (what a lightbulb was and how it existed in time Ulaz was unsure).  The Blue Paladin let out a terrific snort and slapped both hands over his mouth, suppressing what seemed like laughter instead of tears.  Keith was just looking from Ulaz to Pidge and back again, completely lost (Ulaz suspected that Keith only understood slightly more about Humans than he did, despite being half Human himself).  Coran and Allura looked about as confused. 

And Shiro – Shiro, who cared so deeply about Pidge, who Ulaz had been so concerned about with the dawning realization that Pidge was terribly unwell, who was always so very serious – Shiro burst out laughing. 

Ulaz’s ears flopped out horizontal in bafflement.  Was this a Human coping mechanism?  Was Shiro also unwell?  Pidge also looked confused by the Black Paladin’s reaction, so it wasn’t just a species miscommunication. 

What in stars was going on? 

Shiro noticed the confusion on Ulaz’s face.  “Oh, Ulaz, I’m sorry–” he tried to stop laughing, but his tone wobbled and snickers kept getting in between the words, “–it’s, it’s a human thing–” Then he gave up and kept on laughing. 

The sound happened again, snapping Ulaz’s attention back to the important thing – Shiro’s bizarre behavior could wait until Pidge was well again – but it didn’t come from the small Human still halfheartedly struggling against Ulaz’s grip. 

Lance stared back at Ulaz, blue eyes wide in the Galra’s unblinking yellow gaze.  “Um,” he said.  Any other words were cut off by another full-body jerk, although his sound was somewhat less forceful than Pidge’s.  Maybe his symptoms weren’t as far along yet; maybe he was less affected by whatever was causing these spasms. 

“Is it contagious?” Ulaz snapped, unable to keep the growing concern from his voice.  “Do you need to be quarantined?  Pidge, Lance, how long have you been feeling ill?  Is this a Human ailment or has it come from another species you’ve encountered in space?”

Ulaz was a senior member of the Blade of Marmora.  He was a doctor.  He was used to people listening to him, taking him seriously.  He was not used to being laughed at. 

“Sorry, sorry.”  Hunk seemed to get himself back under control faster than the others, giving Ulaz an apologetic smile.  “Ulaz, don’t worry.  It’s okay, hiccups are a totally normal Human thing.  It’s not even an illness, just a little muscle jump in our diaphragms when we breathe funny – or drink three milkshakes in a row, _Lance_.”

“They’re good!”

Ulaz blinked once, processing.  “So… Pidge and Lance are not sick or injured?”

“No.”

“They are not in danger?”

“No.  Well, Lance might be in danger of giving himself a stomachache if he keeps chugging milkshakes, but the hiccups aren’t anything bad, I promise.” 

The Marmoran felt tension the tension drain from his body.  They were going to be okay.  Muscle spasms still didn’t sound good to him, but for now he just had to trust that the Humans knew what was healthy – or at least not fatal – for their own species.  “As you say,” he sighed, releasing the Green Paladin who scrambled back to her seat, where she perched like a startled skaiyae and eyed Ulaz with a mixture of puzzlement, wariness, and almost affection. 

“I’m fine,” she said, turning back to something on a datapad that she must have been working on before Ulaz thought she was dying, “really.  Matt always calls my hiccups heart attacks because they’re so strong, but it really is just a diaphragm twitch and I promise I’m okay.”

“I am too!” Lance added, hiccupping immediately after.  Ulaz glared at him, half still-concerned and half irritated at the whole event, and the Blue Paladin shrank back a little, hiding behind Shiro, who was still laughing.  “Geez, you’d think you’d be happy to find out we’re not dying, dude, what’s with the traffic-jam face?  Hey Keith,” he said, doing a complete topic 180 as Lance was so skilled at doing, “can Galra get hiccups?”

The Red Paladin stared at his Right Side partner blankly.  “I… don’t know?  I’ve only known about Galra as long as you have, Lance.”

“Yeah, but you’re one too!  Do you get hiccups?  Or wait – maybe you only get like, half-hiccups?  What would a half-hiccup even be?  Like, half the movement or only one side–”

Thankfully Hunk slapped one hand over Lance’s mouth before he could really get going on his bizarre hiccups tangent.  Keith continued to look confused for a moment before shaking his head and clearly giving up on understanding anything Lance said, going to the cabinet where they kept the juice to grab some.  He got some for Pidge and Shiro, too, and Ulaz was surprised when he brought a cup to him as well. 

As the younger Humans continued to bicker quietly (Ulaz wasn’t sure what they were talking about now, but he heard something about holding one’s breath or eating something called sugar, saw Lance try to drink from the wrong side of a cup, and promptly decided he did not want to know), Ulaz felt the Black Paladin’s eyes on him. 

“Sorry for laughing,” Shiro said softly.  “I’m not sure why I cracked up so bad at that.”  He shook his head, smiling a little.  “Maybe it was so nice for it to _not_ be a threat, for us to not be in danger.  Stars know Pidge is always up to something – it’s nice for it to be just hiccups, for once.”

Ulaz nodded.  He could understand that: members of the Blade, his friends, were always at risk of injury or death.  Seeing Kolivan and Antok play glorified hide-and-seek in the base, watching Thace moan and groan about the food in the mess hall, was such a relieving alternative to the cloak-and-dagger violence of missions or the danger of poison or sickness.  Ulaz really had been worried, but with the weight of danger lifted, it was nothing but an amusing event, a funny misinterpretation between species.  Nothing more, nothing less. 

He still had no idea what a hiccup really was or why Humans did it, or why in Marmora’s name Pidge was holding her breath so intensely, face as red as Keith’s Lion.  Humans would always be a mystery to him. 

Ulaz would do what he needed to do, as a Blade of Marmora and an ally of Voltron, but he was finding that he truly enjoyed being around this strange species, new and baffling and intriguing.  But he would always be learning.  And that was just fine with him. 


End file.
